GNUS FLASH GNUS FLASH GNUS FLASH GNUS FLASH:
Supremes Updated, Constitution Revised
Today, plans were issued from the White House by Dick Cheney International, Unltd., for a totally new Supreme Court policy. Much encouraged by recent Supreme Court votes reinstituting segregation and chattel slavery, the removal of voting or thinking rights for women and the application of the new universal poll tax to limit the franchise to those with an annual gross income greater than $50 million, the White House Cartel now plans wholesale renovation of the highest court.
The scheme, according to news stooge T___S___ at an unannounced and unverifiable press conference, is to remove all current judges and replace them from a list submitted by the Republican National Committee. The group of preferred nominees includes Judge Judy, Judge Maria Lopez, Judge Wapner, Judge Reinholt, Judge Crater and several other sure-fire media-tested magistrates. Court aides will be chosen from a second list which includes such keen students of the law as Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, Hannity & Colmes, Pat Buchanan, Bay Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, etc.
On the agenda is a complete review and rewrite of the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights, with a view to reducing it in coverage, size and complexity. After severe editing, it will be word-tested on President George W. Bush, to insure that no recondite or complex verbiage remains and that its vocabulary and syntax can be understood by the dumbest person still allowed to vote under new poll tax laws.
The New Improved Constitution, as it will be officially retitled, will then be distributed on the Web via the Oval Office Blog, supervised by Barney Dogge. It can be easily downloaded and printed, and thus will be set in fancy olde-looking typography and festooned with colorful seals and other decorative artwork. A special, walnut-framed version will be available from the Franklin Mint, for those wanting to decorate their facility walls. A reading copy bound in Gucchi leather (genuine artificial foorskin) will be published for anyone who must refer to the document for practical reasons.
An example of editing underway is this new version of the prologue (compare with the original while copies still remain unconfiscated by the CIA):
US FOLKS IN THE WHITE HOUSE, because we want to get
united, get some laws in our favor, hold down the fuss and keep
safe and sound (us and our cronies), give you this Constitution,
just to read.
The Republican National Committee believes this new, faster and easier Constitution and the hip media-judge Supreme Court will solve or obviate all foreseeable domestic and foreign problems and political disputes “with no fuss, no muss and no bother.”
When asked to comment, VP Cheney clipped off a characteristically succinct response: "They exaggerate." He added, "Colmes isn't on the list." ###
| jptHOME Issue 4 |
| Copyright 2007- WJ Schafer & WC Smith - All Rights Reserved |
| jptHome Issue 4 |
| jptArchives |
 luminance |
| U Been Flashed by Louie-On-The-Left ---(LOL: issue #2) |
