Inutility
***Guerrilla Musical Attack on Louie!*** 
Louie-on-the-Left
Louie-on-the-Left
LOL is mad as hell, his silver tongue is deft
Singin' out his demons in his shrillest treble clef
-Louie! Louie! Scrooie Looie hawks his hooey, all the fogies fire back "Phooey!"
Louie waxing wiser with each bottle he can heft
chorus:
BUT WATCH OUT, TEXAS
FER THERE'S A BLOW A-HEADIN' YER WAY
YEAH WATCH OUT TEXAS
THESE OL BONES DON FEEL THEY GONNA STAY
CRY OUT, HOUSTON
CALL OUT, SAN ANTON
WOKE UP THIS MO'NIN'
BY THIS EVENIN' I BE GONE
--Sorry. What happens when a psychic dabbles in political jingle scribbling.
--Catchy, tho. . .
Hmm watch out hmmm hmm. . .
------Attack Claimed By the Goodthink People, Masters of Action 
But to Limberger & Culpible, by Louie-on-the-Left:
(APU) Newsflash. Fat failed comic Rust Limberger has decided to extend his recent series of vicious attacks on seriously ill celebrities who oppose Republikan Party policies and beliefs. So successful with the party faithful were his lifelike imitations of Parkinson’s Disease sufferer Michael J. Fox (actor) and Elizabeth Edwards, terminal cancer patient and wife of Democratic presidential aspirant John Edwards, that Limbgerer has hired as his drama coach failed comedienne and sometimes political commentator Amme Culpible.
Culpible, who has been called “a hybrid of Nazi Death Bitch, raging bulemia queen and teenage rock star,” has promised to hone Limberger’s limited thespian skills and to invent even more amusing depictions of lepers, MS victims and severe burn patients. In the meantime, Limberger and his staff of political assassins are combing the news for more liberal or progressive celebrities with readily mockable diseases.
In addition to the pantomime aspects of victim-mocking, Culpible promises to bolster Limberger’s rhetorical arsenal by teaching him to call obviously straight targets “fairies” or “queers,” epithets she has shown to be surefire laugh-and-applause-getters among the Bonehead Base of the Republikan Party. She is consulting numerous thesauruses for esoteric synonyms for these terms, to be used in performances for major Republikan intellectuals like Rupert Murdock, William Buckley or Bill O’Reilly.
Plans are afoot for a compilation DVD of Limberger and Culpible in action, to be sold as a fundraiser for right-wing causes. Culpible has spent the last months visiting hospitals and hospices to study the severe symptoms and last throes of patients suffering excruciating diseases, so she and Limberger can sharpen their acting skills to a Stanislavkian level. “It’s not just about getting laughs,” Culpible avers, “but about depicting realistically how silly and disgusting these sick liberal bastards look.”
Both nearly-forgotten comics manqué hope their dynamic team effort will put them back on the high road to Famousville and help erase past miscues like writing illiterate books, speaking incoherently on the radio and appearing on TV talk shows. Their new Disease-O-Rama Vaudeville Show promises to be the same kind of smash hit that 3D movies, Smell-O-Vision, electric yoyos, velocipedes and other show biz innovations have been.| jptArchives |