Book of Wine & Seizures fabulation concerning the god of poultry products Chapter 3

The Journal of Provincial Thought

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Obscurity Inutility

For looke about, & see what man with a full belly appreciateth his magnanimis jobgiver, who hath save-ed him from starving down. See what man remembreth those lost days of no situasien, when that he curse-ed walls and seen him self through the decrying eyes of his wife’s famly, and spake shamefully against his friend, saying, Wherefore hath the world given unto Bootis employ, who hath no qualities, while it punisheth mine every breath, presenting me no employ tho I be prodigius?

None seemeth to remembre the depth of fix from which he hath been lifted; rather, he seemeth to remembre pleasant wading upon life’s sunny shore. Yea, in time hath he forgottan that ’twas him self which, with meat nor noodol in store, swallowd down in stead his fatsum pride and went & casted him self prostrate before the jobgiver, saying, These hands will work for thee twice as much for twice as little; put me on.

Or, hap he remembre after all; and now that meal of swallerd pride hath fould his craw, and the pottie seemeth sick upon the bitter bite of humiliasien, and findeth it all the fault of Varostrall. Hap the pottie both remembre, and remembre not; such thing can hapfen.

Varostrol, saith the pottie, Hath done us no sweet sociel stroke in harnessing us, none atall. He hath plunderd our wherewithall & high labours, depriving other masters and better, who wud to have paid us genuine wage and showd the pittance but to the holy moochers and all the cadgers full of sloth & tears. Varostroille, he dealeth pittance unto all, to those who serve no less than those who leach. Let us therefore despise him in unison, for this, and also for that

thrusting cask of a nose. After so much time of knowing us so well, ought he not to carve this tall fortune cake that we have bake-ed for him, and dish out unto us our vested comely slice? Hath not time come, in our careers, to have subtoilers toiling for us and scurrying after such crumbs as we might toss, like as we now scurry after hisn? (But no such time had come.)

And they brake petty against him, calling him Varostril, the Nostril, for that the ending of Varostril soundeth like unto the ending of Nostril, they both having ostril; it being meet also to say, for his extensive nose. And they wager-ed concerning how much the nose cud hold, and also whether it might punch his tarts in kissing.

Yet, Varostril hath no cake for them, but only their accustomd daily wage of a thimbol of sulfur.