The Journal of Provincial Thought

luminance

jptArchive Issue 5

from The Book of Wine & Seizures --copyright 2008 wc smith

Book 10: "an thou be lord, prithee come me riche"

Illustrated by w schafer

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Chapitre

1. Momentous Among Us pp. 1-2

2. Come Crashing Parodise, Those Crying Want pp. 2-4

3. Breach and a Sudden Pang pp. 4-5

4. Men Uncork the Power of their Faithe pp. 6-7

5. To the Venturer Who Hath Conceit p. 7

6. Indectic p. 8

ziss it?

nay

nay

nay

nay

nay

<<YEA

8

A

absurd sobriquets of young bums, 4

ace deceptivor (Habogus), 6

agents of excavatien, 5

angels’ apricotts agrowing, 3

animals that flit & skitter in the earth, 1

arte on the fly, 4

B

babes were jostld outen gnapsacs, 4

beseechmentata, 3

besoild and abraded, 5

blasfemia, 1

blessed resonance of yowl & growl, 1

bloodhunters willing to give of their time, 4

Boguschip, 6

born a bastrid, 6

botherd writings, bits of, 4

braiding mine nerves up in braids, 4

breastkissage, 4

buttsy mother’s ghutt, 1

C

capasity to edjucate cretins through dreams, 6

Captain Biceps, 4

cayoss in his formative years underfoot, 3

circus & charizmo, 1

cliques & clusters, 1

cock-atop-housechicken, 1

coming on hard for gold, 1

concludary glottal dollop. See cock-atop-housechicken

constance of perch & view, 3

Cradle of Civility (Nina Pang), 2

Crucifruit, 4

crush of strawmuckins, a, 2

cryings out, and madderwaulings, 3

cut for lusher climes, 2

Cynic, 6

D

Damsel Distresser, 4

damsel down in the dirt, 5

dank manor of our iniquity, 3

dansing out amongst the night stars and be ador’d, 1

daughters’ popular plums, 4

depictitures of this & that, 4

diplomae which he shew them, 4

Distance, the, 2

distribufy me slicewise, 2

ditsy niggles he air-ed, 5

douse me dear with pouchbag, 3

drove of demanders, a, 2

E

eagle-beakt alacrity, 2

Extreme Departed (Habogus), 6

F

faces having wearers having names, 2

false healer of women, 4

family of illumny, 3

Fat streets and grease, 2

flagrant carvings upon the trees, 4

flunk our bodyrot in its rainbow hues, 3

foolsbogie, 6

fourteen hundreds of breserken eyes, 4

fractious factiens, 1

More city, 2

G

giveth out a groan and catcheth the moon in its gravidy, 3

glorifaxien of Habogus, 1

Glory Hole, 4

godbones, 1

good hill Highhigh, 2

goomer which talketh mostily through his nose, a, 3

Great Lateral Purge of the Lover, 6

H

Habogus, 1

Habogus Accepted. See Habogus

Habogus Removed, 4

Habogus Reveald, 6

hangd for merder or mayham, 5

happfy story hath its countermete in sorrow, 6

hazey repose, 2

hell, which every man deserveth, 1

housechicken. See cock-atop-housechicken

hurtsome things, 1

I

imputatiens of motherlight, 3

indifference washt upon Habogos, 3

K

Kinkajou, exemplary, 1

Kiss our breast and make us whole, 4

knifey pursuitsters, 3

L

legien paltry perplexities, 2

light as birdsbreath, lucid as rain, 3

lion-&-the-lamb, 1

Lord Delights, 2

Lord Hoebagoo (Habogus), 5

Lord the Mightymost. See Habogus

lord up there needen no sleepf, nor no rest, nor no victual, 2

Lord Weibaggus (Habogus), 5

luckless ignominy of this hermetic underclay, 3

M

made bray and whinny, 2

made mere grope of his grasp, 3

man in the plural, 4

man, a, 1

Man, The, 4

mob on the move, a, 5

mobstream, the, 4

mole men, 2

mother of all luminance, 3

Motion Ghost, The, 4

mount and ride the sky, 4

mullah Highpile Hope, 3

N

Nature wooeth a man, 1

Nina Pang, 5

notorious arrangements, 3

O

one credibol creatist. See Habogus Accepted

one glamorus rug these peopels, 2

One Straight, True North-&-South Lovezone, 7

P

Pang Gazetteers, 5

passel of imitators, 1

pearl pot of molarky, a, 6

Turkey Talk With the Author’s Spokesperson

Some in the community have taken aim at the Author.  Fortunately their aim is terrible.  The Author loses sleep, but all for joy in his pursuits, none for concern of sharpshooters who, he chuckles, are hardly sharp.  These are the sort he imagines engaging in chess if he were immortal and free to spend the time he requires for plotting each turn.  Since the ramifications of moves are vast and require well-calculated, probability-rife "gambits of greatness"— not necessarily mechanically-unassailable moves that would outcrunch Big Blue, but components of a strategy most likely to overwhelm a given mammalian opponent’s psychological faculties—he reckons chess an inhumane tedium unsuited to sentients with champagne-&-beans breakfasts to host, possible interdimensional escapades to contemplate, and longhorn sorrows to saddle and ride.  Personally, I have not encountered the soul I don’t enjoy perplexing at chess.  Ach!  I am to serve as the Author’s humble spokesperson, not as my own vainglorious one.  My book is not yet written, unlike the Author’s.  Should my tale prove enchanting, expect that I shall eventually forward it to appropriate literary committees, who will determine the minds it is to reach and with what force.

Recently the Author numbered among those basket-lifted off a sinking ice-faring ship.  He admits that during the ordeal he hastily dressed himself as a woman and child, but only because it was evident that this would be a splendid chance to experience life from radically different perspectives.  He says he has now "been there" and moved forward. Why then do I see him stowing a cotillion gown in the First Aid pocket of his cruise trunk?  Certainly this would be for the benefit of such naked lady as he might encounter on the high seas.

The Author enjoys that I remind you:  throughout Wine & Seizures you will read some expressions and concepts that originated in the stories decades ago, though you since will have encountered them elsewhere.  This owes to the plethora of glib & articulate college graduates who have taken up the business of penning that which someone else has already penned.  Must everyone nowadays pen?  There are still ditches needing dug out there, and the Author has passed down his shovel to the more deserving.  "The more able." If only they would put to it, and leave the sincerest form of flattery alone.

Ah, but doesn't my karma belch and growl, whenever I must be blunt.  My obligation to the Author oppresses at times.  Someday they will say to me, “You are quite the being, to have survived it.”

Perhaps to them I shall testily reply, “And what the hell do you know?”  I have learned the ways of the world, you see. One must defend one's status, for they are quick to disrespect those who are readily pitied, condescended to, verbally scooted about by the whiskbrooms of sweeping judgment and spot-evaluation. Pinning back their ears with darts of rhetoric keeps them at proper social remove— "at bay," to use the curious expression. This was wisdom imparted by my father, one of the rare wise bits to emerge from his seasons as a Santa Claus.

That which was Thatte which isThat which was

jptArchive Issue 5

Copyright 2008- WJ Schafer & WC Smith - All Rights Reserved

peoples so odious by them selfs, 2

Petitpois the protégé, 6

Pitch some uncorruptis, 3

plague of clamorous gods, 1

playd fingerdances, 4

pluck me as like some scrumpchis chickmeat, 2

pluck the festers from their adulteris buttloafs, 4

portraiture of his posing grandiosity, 5

power to resist invasien, 6

power to throw warts, 6

prairie yip and lonesem wippowilly, 2

Prithee come me riche, O lord, 3

programmes of endearment, 2

puff my purse past jingling, 3

Q

quarterd by ogres, 5

quibblers clickt together, 1

R

rase up their trumpets and blay some toots, 4

regia supplicatos carcasum originalis, 6

rejoining tones of distress, 5

relaxant, 2

rendring of animul sounds, 1

Rich enow do me make, 3

right tools, the, 4

rough grunt maketh sows to swoon, 2

Run out a rod and stroke us, 3

rustick godhood hath its dusty delights, 2

that mad day when they brake ope the doors of the lord, 6

threefold path which leadeth unto sneakoports, 4

thundring throng upon the mount, 4

tide of the rioteyed and reeling, 4

toning not their souls, 1

took pleasure with mortals, 2

U

undo the devil’s gnots, 3

unenlighted idiologem, 3

unnatcherol passiens, 2

unwont and ironical misfix, 3

use for the world and its enjoyments, 5

V

viscid mutualidy, 2

voracious saters anest, 2

W

waste & ruin, dross, loss, and foul deposit, 4

wheels brake, and loads were lost, 4

whizzing spit of his torrenchial speech, 1

wicker grates were humeros twigs, 4

winkt out quiet rhythms with his eyes, 4

wordplay and invocasien opsiens, 6

work their field of stench end-to-end, 2

wry and querrulous, 1

Y

Yank & banish our daemons, 3

yen to soar, 2

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