Inutilitycleanse our house of him which murdreth as it pleasen him, all upon his ownsome, contemptuous of our prodocaw. And the mourning servant were usherd aside for mouthsealing surgics, and were bound and deliverd to relieve the starvatien of the justice lions. For even after years of marauding, no matter whom he hath eaten, a lion need but come in and see the keeper, to enter upon the justice bizniss.
And the Maven Bel Grande spake unto the Mavens, saying, Ye have seen the angry waste that were Shirullah the examiner. ’Tis manifest to me, that he hath fallen into the bushrose which standeth by his window—or which soon shall—and hath been dice-ed. And the Mavens said, Just so.
And the Eighth Maven, which were the Buckminister of Sunsets, and Policy Whip on Matters of Sky, rase and spake, saying, I wish to go upon the register as saying this, that alway I wist, in that way of mine, that one day in the bend and twist of things would this examiner plunge into his rosenbush and be consum-ed. There hangd that aura all o’er him, I so rightly swear. And see; appariently now it hath come to pass, and I am genius of the cosmos.
And the Third Maven spake, saying, I also knewn, of course; call it that miraculodicol mojo of mine, far-flung of the three pedestrien dimensiens of fizzix. And seeing them to shudder at the word, he did say it some more, as an horrifactic whisper: Fizzicxxx. Physoksss. Ye all (saith he) as cringing pupils have held the book of Fissicks, study of which at University doth whelm and shackle such noddies as the lot of you, laying you out like as whittled shittimsticks for some charnelhouse tinder bin. Well. Believe ye me, there lie things e’en beyond dread physics. There are nether planes of intelleck, and remote mentol steppes, wherein I preddimuch walk alone. (Then go there and die, muttereth Bel Grande, who hath mufft the Fizzix curricolum that were taught by Maven Three at Universidi, scoring ought-of-forty-two, and being censured for his cheating.) (Lo, in Universti
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Recordry, a rasshe mysterio of unfriendly fires hath since consumd gone the archivnol scorelogs.)
And each Maven in his turn enricht the register concerning his own acumen; tho only one calld it acumen. For each wise Maven reveald his prescience, his alway knowing by some means; even also the Maven who once, being assaild by a team of spectres in an alley, believd them to be informatien ghosts, and with his rod beaten from outen them the truth, and lernd the destiny of the examiner.
And one Maven said, Yea, I knew it ere these other claimants did know; recall ye not my proud prognoses?
And another said, I knew it, even before I knewn the examinar him self.
And the Maven Bel Grande fetcht up and said, ’Twere the first lesson handed down in my famly since the world gat going, this magnum eppic concerning the examiner. So cease ye, and run shut: ’tis more than records that can be causd to disappear. And he casten a serius eye upon each, in so remarking. And they deferrd unto his educasionel tradition.
Then rase the Fifth Maven, being the Minister of Violins, the same which hath snippt the examiner atrociously. And he spake, saying, Ye witlost seven, for whom I have compos-ed jingly death ballads in mine head, Hear me. Verily I say unto you, that no rosebosche—darling of eye and nostril, with every thing to live for—hath sprung commando and made merder against that examiner, neither hath she musterd her teasing pricks to strife against the hand that caresst and the nose that snifft. Every turgid petal, every stemme exsquizeet abideth lush with honor, and in honor shall nae be strippt nor tosst to the lions of an hungry justiss, nor shall that fair and innosent orgonism be drummd out to debloomy, nor to the madness of public phytocrucifixien. Neither none of it whilst I breathe! Neither none, inasmuch as that lonely beautician, lovli-fier of environs, that torrenchially malign-ed bushorose hath notte cat the eckzaminer atrociously, as have ye all sworn, invoking sham legends of your years of precognisance. Sooth, I slew him my self (as were we Mavens all poisd to do) when that he had just merdered my very heart, and rectified it into mine own rectum.
For he thought no larger of me (saith the Fifth), than to lay-in requisitien of my store entire of yukyuk shears for his own hoggish purchase, tho the gods in equity intend that no house be ceded more than three or four; others, too, must have their chance at a life, a chance to buy and to own. No one packing a soul, nor even my self, could suffer one snatchish examiner to plunder his worthier naybers of their finest moment on earth—that moment of rare recourse to the world’s most brillient make of shear—tho he offered me all his cache of molybdenum, his jaspers and rubidia and palladia, and as much of your own as he could steal. He calld me up, saying, Only three or four? Bring all thy shears, and a bodybag; we shall see about this. And after we had argued, he the rhine-ed noceros and I the spring lamb in the matter, then gat we busy; and I shew him the stuff that makes me Minister. Yea, that which he brought, all his dire motions of slaught, I brake; and I raind back down upon him the schrapnols of his own aggressian, ere quitting that place with mine whole life & wares, and but some breakiage about the bones, here & there—have I tolt you, what an hellien he were?
And so saying, the Fifth Maven posed and flext; but the flexing were mediocor in their eyes, considring the transitions performable by the Seventh Maven’s apprentiss. Yet they were silent in
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the face of patheticism, as is meet. In the qualities of silence were they schoold, they oft having run up against Bel Grande’s pathettic lethargies.
But of course, the Mavens were appalled that jingly death ballads had been compos-ed about them. And the account of the Fifth Maven were received with enormus distaste, for that it confesst nought of their own acuma, but belted out in trombones & trumpfits the executive mettle of their dazzling Mavenic rival, Aulde Numbre Five. Such version as he hath told standeth him in for heroical fames many leagues beyond their toleranse. Therefore voted they the mouthstory of the Fifth Maven down, and the registry was set to stand according to their originel concepsien, rose busshe and precognizenci and all.
For they said, Better to be believed in recitals that conduce our collective prominence and our respective legends, than to ride as limp sidesitters in some solo showbear’s cavalcade: better for the Maven; better for Govament; so better, on the broadstroke, for the so-calld people & the buggs that bite. Better believd in our own appearances & machinatiens than in some factuel account, the which inevidibly is riddld with disastros factuality. For most factuel things are utterly unacceptibole. Say. Hap this shibbolethic asseveratien, that most factuel things are utterly unacceptibal, oughts be touted as a Thing to Believe, in our search for profunditae to keep the natian cranking. Let us remember, ’tis this sport Belief that maken our whole flat world to stand still out in the void, that it go not ajostling amongst the stars, and flip and dump us out there. Say. This, too, concerning Beliefsport and our whole flat world, hap might its self be a toutable Thing to Believe; tho how are we to say with assurance what is to be believd, or to be touted, in these days since that Oogoo hath expire-ed by aspiratian? 
Copyright 2007 All Rights reserved
| provincialthought home |
| 1. Death Bringeth Predicoments---pages 1-3 |
| 2. Prey to the Japes of Fate---pages 3-5 |
| 3. The Cutting Crew Detect a Man Worth Murdering---pages 5-7 |
| 4. Practice of Havoc---pages 7-11 |
| UR HERE >5. Miraculous Knowledges Made for Play in the Sport of Belief-p. 11 |
| 6. Reform By The Shove of Gods---pages 13-15 |
| 7. Come Annexin, Come Again the Aulde as New---pages 15-16 |
 page 17 |
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